5 Steps to Taking Control Where We Can

My 2020 vision (I thought that sounded so cool as we approached New Year’s Day 2020.) has not materialized the way I planned. In fact, I let go of most of my plans (or at least of the way I thought I would pursue them) in March, when COVID-19 shattered the image that most of us had pictured for our year. Like many, I have been tiptoeing my way through this year, trying to figure it out as I go. I haven’t been completely dormant. I have continued to make progress on my book, albeit at a slower pace. I have started work on my book proposal. I completed two certification courses—Running Coach and Vegan Nutrition Diploma. I have parented my teenager in this pandemic pandemonium. I have submitted, and had accepted, my first guest blog post. And I have re-envisioned the future I want to create for myself. 2020 has helped to bring into focus my priorities and what I want and don’t want in my life. As this year winds down, we don’t know what to expect from 2021, although it will likely look far different than it would have without an intervening pandemic. I have created a new vision for myself, from the perspective of my new pandemic-heightened insight.

There is much we cannot control in our world—both now and even in non-pandemic times. There is no point wasting energy and effort on the things that are out of our control. Instead, we can approach life from the JustWind Mindset and realize that we have the power and freedom to choose our perspective, allowing us to liberate ourselves from victimhood, optimize our lives and make the difference we were meant to make.

In Functional Medicine Coaching: Stories from the Movement That’s Transforming Healthcare, Sandra Scheinbaum and Elyse L. Wagner highlight five modifiable lifestyle factors related to health:

  1. Sleep and relaxation
  2. Nutrition and hydration
  3. Exercise and movement
  4. Social Relationships
  5. Stress

In essence, these are the things we can influence that affect our physical and mental well-being. Just as physical and mental well-being are intertwined, so are these modifiable lifestyle factors. Each factor influences the others. When I recently read about these lifestyle factors in  Scheinbaum and Wagner’s book, I thought about how they interact with the five realms of Optimal Living in which I want to use my strengths, talents, passions, resources and experiences to reach my full potential, while helping others do the same. Those five realms are:

  1. Body: Our physical form and function.
  2. Mind: Our intellectual and cognitive activity.
  3. Heart: Our emotional and relational life.
  4. Spirit: Our connection to something greater.
  5. Legacy: Our body of work and impact on our world and those who share it.

The five modifiable lifestyle factors are important for optimizing in any of the realms. We can use a process I call “Route Planning” to figure out how to use these factors to optimize each realm. I am creating a tool for implementing this process and will share that in coming weeks. In the meantime, here is an exercise you can use to create positive change. Grab a journal or open a Word document. Then:

  1. Envision your Legacy. What do you ultimately want to leave for the world? What impact do you want to make? What are you called to create?
  2. Consider each of the four realms (Body, Mind, Heart, Spirt) that contribute to the fifth—Legacy. Honestly, assess how well they are contributing to your progress toward the Legacy you envisioned. Use a scale of 1-10 to rate each realm if that is helpful to you.
  3. How can you use the five modifiable lifestyle factors as ingredients to optimize each of those realms, better positioning you to achieve the Legacy you envisioned?
    1. Are sleep and relaxation part of the equation? How could this improve?
    1. Are nutrition and hydration part of the equation? How could this improve?
    1. Are exercise and movement part of the equation? How could this improve?
    1. Are social relationships part of the equation? How could these improve?
    1. Is stress part of the equation? How could this improve?
  4. Look at the ideas you wrote for each factor. What is the first step that you can take today or tomorrow to get you started (or move you along to the next phase) in making progress toward your Legacy vision?
  5. TAKE THAT STEP. See it through and then decide which one is next.

The process I am developing combines elements of route planning, from cycling; plan-of-study creation, from academic advising and training program development, from coaching, to help you create a map for achieving the Legacy you desire. The exercise above is a simplified version of it, but it allows you to take an honest look at what you can control and start to create a route for getting to your ultimate destination. Every step (or pedal stroke) counts.

In this year of so many uncontrollable factors, let’s take time to identify what we can control and take action where we can. I have made that commitment, and so can you.

By the end of 2021, I intend to have secured a book deal, built a viable platform of readers and created a writing life. I will elaborate more on these in the months to come. One of the actions I am taking, starting now, that contributes to all of these intentions is to increase the frequency of my blog posts from every three weeks to weekly. This is a big commitment in my full life, but it feels important.

What step are you taking right away to propel yourself forward toward the Legacy you envisioned?

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It’s Okay to Change Your Mind . . . And Sometimes Doing So Is the Only Way to Stay in Integrity

It wasn’t too long ago that, if I had agreed to do something or be part of something, even if new information, insight or circumstances appeared causing a change of heart, I would have felt obligated to persist. I might have resented it, and there might be other negative consequences, but I would feel like I had to do what I said I was going to do. After all, that is my definition of integrity.

Recently, I was approached online, out of the blue, about an opportunity. This one felt different than a lot of the other ones I have received in the past several months. I was intrigued, so I agreed to learn more about it. The opportunity seemed to be a good fit, but it is my crazy time with my advising work, and Logan was getting ready to run at the State Cross Country Meet, so I deferred my decision until I could give it better attention. After a phone meeting following State, I meditated on the opportunity, asked questions and went through a thorough discernment process, including Marie Forleo’s decision-making strategy. I felt really sure that I was making a good choice to accept the opportunity. So, I had a phone meeting to finalize it and firm up the details. Once I went through the steps to formalize my connection while I was on the phone, a lot more material, multiple Facebook groups and additional information were opened to me. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed.

As soon as I got off the phone, I thought, “I made a mistake.’

Throughout the next day, I was too busy with work to give it much thought, but I took a peek at some information and group activity, and that confirmed my sinking feeling that it was not going to be the right fit. Still, I felt stuck. I said I would do it! I didn’t want to back down on my word.

Besides feeling stuck, I felt betrayed. Not by the people involved in the opportunity. The offer was very low key, and there was no deception. I just didn’t understand the full picture until more information—designed to be helpful—was revealed to me after I had agreed to the affiliation. During that conversation, I was overwhelmed—a tendency of my introverted need to process and let things sink in. So, it wasn’t that I felt deceived, but I felt betrayed by my intuition and my thoughtful discernment. I had felt like my decision was guided and clear. Could I not trust my intuition? I had felt so certain. It had felt so right. It was unsettling. How could I ever trust myself to make good decisions?

I didn’t really have time to process my thoughts after I got off the phone. I needed to wash dishes and prepare for the next workday by making my breakfast and packing Logan’s lunch. Kenny and Logan got home from Flying Angels practice shortly after I finished the call, so I put away my worry until I could process it.

As I was doing laundry after work the next day, I thought, “In order to be successful at this, I am going to have to take much more time than I realized from my writing, my coaching and my family.” That didn’t feel good. It didn’t feel like living in integrity. These things were priorities. I decided to sleep on it and make a decision after meditating the next morning.

My morning meditation sealed my decision. I needed to rescind my participation.

Being clear about my priorities and deciding to honor them helped me to feel calm and confident. I did some research to find out what rights I had, and then I sent a gracious and clear message stating my decision. I took the next steps and, after some technical difficulties, had put my separation in motion. Immediately, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I felt free and hopeful. I got on my bike and smiled, despite the 31-mph wind.

As I rode, several things became clear to me. I am sharing them here because I know I am not the only one who struggles with backing out of something we have agreed to do, even if it no longer feels right. Changing our minds can stressful and is often fraught with anxiety and doubt and guilt and shame. I see and hear this in my students, and I know it from personal experience. These are the insights I gleaned from this experience:

  • It is okay to change our minds. In fact, if we have agreed to something that we later realize does not align with our priorities, goals, values, passions or strengths, changing our minds may be the only way to stay in integrity. If we are really going to follow through on something that is truly important to us, and we realize something else is going to get in the way, we need to release the thing that is keeping us from what really matters. A quote I have long loved from Johann Wolfgang van Goethe urges us to uphold our priorities: “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”
  • It is better to back out of an ill-fitting situation than to stay in it and resent it. No one wins when resentment comes into play. In this post from 2019, I talk about the importance of setting boundaries. Boundaries help to make sure that we are serving our most important goals and not letting other things encroach on those priorities. And, as Brene´ Brown reminds us, “The trick to staying out of resentment is maintaining better boundaries—blaming others less and holding myself more accountable for asking for what I need and want.” We have both the right and the responsibility to change our mind and to take action when we realize that something is not right for us. To do anything other than that is to shirk our responsibility for our own lives. It is no one else’s job to keep us true to our priorities or to keep us out of resentment. That responsibility is ours alone.
  • Sometimes changing our mind is actually the point. As part of my meditation every morning, I state my openness to creative possibilities for abundance and to opportunities from unexpected sources. As I rode my bike, reveling in the freedom I felt after extricating myself from the anxiety-provoking commitment, I understood that the gift of the whole experience was actually the lessons I learned by recognizing my need to change my mind. I thought the “creative possibility for abundance and opportunity from an unexpected source” was the partnership itself, but what became clear on my bike was that the whole point of the experience was taking responsibility for holding true to my priorities. I felt amazing after I graciously, yet unapologetically rescinded my agreement.In doing so, I realized that I had stood up for myself and for what I know to be right and true for me. This was practice I needed. The betrayal I felt was really misunderstanding. I thought my discernment led me to accept this opportunity because it was right for me. Instead, I was led to it because I needed the experience of assertively owning my priorities and taking steps to honor them. I feel proud of myself for the way I handled it. I have no ill feelings toward the people on the other side of the offer. I hope they have none toward me. But it is not my responsibility to worry about that. I was respectful and gracious and removed myself with integrity. That’s all I can or need to control.
  • Changing our minds can fuel our commitment to our priorities and our sense of self-reliance. This is what it is doing for me. I stepped out of my comfort zone and honored my priorities, and that feels good. Taking the “risk” to do that (looking bad, feeling bad, seeming wishy-washy, etc.) was a declaration about what really matters to me. And I did it myself. I got myself into the bind, and I took quick action, once I had the information to realize that the fit was not there, to step out of the situation. I haven’t always stood up for myself like that. It feels good to have done it now, and it helps me to realize how much I want to finish and publish my book and to create a viable writing/coaching/speaking platform that will allow me the freedom and flexibility I desire, while sharing an important message with people who need it.

Ironically, right before deciding that I should accept this opportunity, I had reached clarity around how the JustWind mindset will run consistently through all my work. When we recognize that we have the POWER and FREEDOM to choose our perspective, we liberate ourselves from victimhood, optimize our lives and make the difference we are meant to make.  I realized that my coaching practice is really about this, too, and I have a clearer sense of how all the pieces tie together. I thought this new opportunity was part of that. Until I realized it wasn’t. And it would ultimately distract me from the things that are really important to me. After going through this upheaval, my commitment to my consistent message and my own methods feels strong. So, I am grateful for the experience and believe that I will be better, stronger and more committed because of it. I hope my lessons can help you to find the courage to step away from what doesn’t serve you and your highest priorities . . . even if you said you would do it.

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Releasing Judgment—2020 and Beyond

When things don’t go as we think they should (like all of 2020), it is easy to fall into a pattern of judging and criticizing ourselves and feeling bad about lack of progress where we think we should have progress.

This year, as parenting a teenager has collided with a pandemic, it has become clear to me that my priorities need to shift in this season of life.

For all of us, 2020 is happening on top of the rest of life. If you’re not parenting a teenager, you have something else that would pose a challenge even under less fraught circumstances than a pandemic. Odds are, COVID-19 has exacerbated your situation in some way, too. We’re all still learning as we go, but one of the most important things I have learned so far is that recognizing the need to shift the focus of my emotional and physical energy, as well as my time, stems from honoring the guidance, wisdom, direction and protection of the Universe. I can view myself with gratitude for choosing to honor and act on this guidance, rather than battering myself with judgment for not being able to do it all.

For those of us who are driven and determined to accomplish what we set out to accomplish, releasing ourselves temporarily from self-imposed time frames can be difficult and frustrating. It can feel like slacking.

An alternative perspective is to recognize the restraint that it takes to channel our energy where it is most needed. This view also requires patience with ourselves and with the timeline of nature. It requires trust that we will get back to a place in life where we can focus again more vigorously on the projects that stir our spirits.

It has become clear that my son needs me most right now. Being a teenager is hard in any era. I believe that being a teenager in the age of COVID-19 presents unique and unprecedented challenges. The waters are uncharted for all of us. My most important responsibility right now is helping Logan navigate them. Everything else has to be put on the backburner for this moment. It was a struggle to acknowledge and internalize that and to decide to be okay with it. I’m writing my book, working to complete a vegan nutrition certification and had been striving to build my business, while working full time. All those things matter to me, and I will continue to make progress. Circumstances right now just mean that my already painfully slow progress will be even slower for a while. I must release judgment on myself for that and instead feel grateful that I recognized the need, rather than pushing ahead with blinders, which can be tempting when I am in pursuit of a goal.

Right now, my efforts and energy need to be with Logan—parenting him the way he needs to be parented in order to nurture our relationship, keep him safe and healthy and help him build character.

I have settled into this realization and owned it. I have made the conscious decision to release judgment of myself and make peace with focusing my limited-capacity energy on Logan right now. The signs are here—this is parenting crunch time. Logan is 16. Nothing is more important than giving him the energy and attention he needs right now because there is not much time left before he is a young adult. While parenting won’t end then, it will change, and I don’t want to have missed my chance to be the mom he needed during this stage of his development, in the middle of a pandemic.

Before I know it, I will be in a different season of life, and it will be time again to focus my energy on my personal and professional development projects. I don’t consider myself stalled now, just slowed and, in some cases, temporarily redirected.

I’m still writing—just more slowly. I’m still reading and learning and growing—just with less urgency. I’m still open to business opportunities and development—just in a way that leaves me the time I need to give Logan what he needs.

In this year of uncertainty and distress, all of us are bound to be hit with unforeseen demands that rise to the top of our priorities. The challenge is to recognize these needs and honor them, releasing judgment of ourselves and acknowledging that, not only can we not do it all, but we do not need to do it all. We only need to do what is most important in the moment.

We can see this pandemic and the needs that arise around and during it as an interruption of life, or we can choose to see it for what it really is—life itself. It’s not a version of life we would have chosen, but here it is. So, let’s rise to the challenge, recognize what priorities need to be adjusted and make those adjustments courageously, patiently and without judgment.

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A Fresh Perspective on Regret

As I have accumulated more and more evidence of how quickly life moves and of how short it really is, the specter of regret has loomed increasingly large in my life. The idea of looking back and wishing I had made different choices scares me. In one of the evolutions of my coaching practice, I even identified as a “No Regrets Coach.” I thought most other people must be as frightened as I was of ending up with regrets. Since that concept never gained traction, writing a blog post about regret may be risky or futile. Maybe there will be no interest.

Recently, though, I have been introduced to a fresh perspective that I find tremendously helpful. You might, too, so I decided to share my new insight.

My bike ride a couple Sundays ago started out pleasantly. I knew it was the calm before a front moved in, but I was happy to be out there enjoying my ride. I had had a rough track record of harassment by badly behaved humans and dogs (still the fault of their humans) over the previous couple weeks, but I was riding highly vetted roads on a Sunday morning, when it is generally quiet. Suddenly, just as I was really settling in to enjoy my ride, I spotted a dog ahead—large; black, with a white chest, and jumping out of his skin with excitement. He had clearly seen me before I saw him and was eagerly waiting for me to enter his chase zone.

After a really scary encounter the previous weekend with a different dog, I just couldn’t handle a confrontation. Abruptly, I made a U-turn in the middle of 247th Street. Realizing I was turning around and not wanting to lose this opportunity, the dog took off after me on a dead run. I hammered the pedals and blared my dog horn. It took two blasts, but the stronger second one stopped him in his tracks, stunned and confused, giving me the break I needed to watch him drift farther and farther back in my mirror. After that adrenaline surge, I switched directions and recalculated my route in my head.

Several miles later, “Hmm, is that a sprinkle I felt?”

A few more questionable sprinkles, and soon there was no wondering. Heavy mist settled upon me, coating my sunglasses and dripping off my helmet. On my altered route, I would make a pass by my house and resigned myself to ending my ride then, six miles short of my goal for the day, since the heavy mist was making it harder to see.

But then inspiration hit.

Not wanting to lose the moment, I rode right past my street and felt a surge of excitement as some ideas I had been pondering for a couple days really started to gel.

A few days earlier I had seen a Facebook post that Mel Robbins shared. It was a quote from Nakeia Homer:

“Forgive yourself for learning some things the hard way.”

I had no idea who Nakeia was (I have since learned.), but those words really spoke to me.

After seeing Mel Robbins’ shared post, I started tossing the concept around in my mind, but it was on my soggy, rerouted bike ride that I saw, through my mist-covered lenses, what the words really meant to me.

They offered a fresh perspective on regret.

For several years, in my quote collection, I have had Brene’ Brown’s quotes: “Regret is a fair but tough teacher.” and “’No regrets’ doesn’t mean living with courage, it means living with no reflection. To live without regret is to believe you have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with your life.”

Those words must have struck me at the time I originally read them in Rising Strong because I recorded them in my quote book, but in the years since, I have resented them and rejected them. When I have landed on them while randomly select a quote for reflection, I have brushed them off and chosen something else.

Suddenly on that bike ride, alongside Nakeia Homer’s words in my head, I saw them in a different light.

I recognized that the feeling of regret—and my fear of it—is actually learning the hard way.

This is such a helpful perspective for me. I invite you to explore it, too.

It allows me to shine a compassionate light on a personal paradox. There are certain big decisions that I made years ago that I have, at times, viewed with a twinge (or more) of regret. The paradox, though, is that while the person I am today would not make the same choice as I did back then, I wouldn’t be the same person I am today, if I had not made the choice I made back then.

On that wet bike ride, I realized that these regret-evoking decisions were opportunities to forgive myself for learning the hard way. Having made the choice I did propelled me down the road toward a greater understanding of the lesson I needed to learn.

Learning the hard way is still learning. It is valid and deserves to be recognized for the lessons and progress it brings.

What occurred to me on another bike ride last week is that learning the hard way may be incremental. That is okay, too. We make a decision, choose a direction, take an action. If the results of our movement are not what we hoped or expected, it is important to acknowledge that. With the acknowledgement that our decision or action didn’t lead to what we wanted, we can choose to forgive ourselves for learning the hard way and then make an informed decision about how to proceed. Sometimes the results of our next decision also may be disappointing. This is where the recognition that learning the hard way is sometimes incremental comes in. We move farther along our journeys with every decision, become more fully the people we are capable of becoming, and we forgive ourselves for—and release ourselves from the pain of—learning the hard way.

I have come to recognize another paradox around regret. This quote is often attributed to Mark Twain, but that attribution is disputed. I am not sure who actually said it first, but for a long time, I have taken it as a caution and held it to be true. Taking this fresh perspective on regret opened my mind to the paradox. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”

Regardless of the original author of those words, what I realized while pedaling with a push from a strong northwest wind was that it is not that simple. Everything we don’t do—whether by conscious choice or by the default of not choosing—means that we do something else. Every time we leave one action on the table, something fills the void. We may come to regret—and learn the hard way through—whatever fills the void. It may not be clear whether it is what we didn’t do or what we did instead that led to the disappointment, regret and, as long as we recognize it, learning.

I have always found forgiveness to be difficult, whether for myself or others. I have tried to understand it and to embrace it more openly, but it has been elusive much of the time. During my yoga practice last week, it occurred to me that, not only can I acknowledge regret as learning the hard way and forgive myself, but I can also more easily find my way to forgiving others when I recognize that we all learn the hard way.

That doesn’t mean that everything is excused. Some actions are just wrong and cruel, and I can’t begin to understand what is behind them, but we are all flawed works in progress (unless we have stagnated through hopelessness, callousness or deprivation). When I can look at people who have hurt me, but who still play a role in my life, and see that they, too, sometimes learn the hard way, it can open the door for me to forgive them for being flawed and still having lessons to learn.

The essence of the JustWind mindset is that we have the freedom and power to choose our perspectives, and the ones we choose shape our lives. Viewing regret as a marker of learning the hard way and having the compassion to forgive ourselves for needing to learn that way in some (many) instances feels life changing. Instead of being stuck in a stew of regret, disappointment, shame and guilt, we can acknowledge the hard lesson for what it is, recognize that learning the hard way is still learning, compassionately forgive ourselves (or others) and choose to move forward in a way that serves us and our world more powerfully.

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Honor Your Fears, But Don’t Let Them Paralyze You

I decided the time was right on Saturday. I had avoided a particular section of road since last November, after I had an upsetting encounter with three dogs, coming at me from two different directions. Avoiding this section was inconvenient and limited my options because it is just about five miles from my house and a major route to the west, where some of the best cycling is.

I was finishing a very enjoyable, solo 55-mile bike ride on Saturday and was feeling emboldened because I had already come through several miles that I hadn’t ridden this year, in part because of mild dog fears. Although this section, farther away from home and easier to avoid, had caused me distress in previous years because of a very aggressive, chasing Australian shepherd, I had not had a problem in the last couple years. But, after my closer-to-home stressful encounter last November, I had shied away from this stretch as well. Considering my options on Saturday morning, though, I found myself drawn to this route and made the decision to ride it. It was empowering to come through it without incident.

This was part of what inspired me to try the closer, scarier route. I thought about it while I rode. Besides my success that day, another cyclist had told me recently that he had been through that section several times without encountering the dogs. Also, I knew I would have a cornering tailwind as I passed them, and it would be hot, so the dogs would be less motivated to move from shady resting spots.

The time felt right.

As I approached the intersection where I would have to make a decision to proceed north, avoiding the dogs, or to turn east toward them, I told myself that either choice was okay. I would listen to my instinct.

I made the right turn toward the dogs.

I used some of my calming mantras as I approached their houses, which are across the street from each other, with the bigger problems across the road from me. I also grabbed another gear and accelerated—no need to dilly dally! I made it past them without encountering a belligerent canine.

Victory! I had done it. For the firs time in nearly 10 months, I had been brave enough to calculate my risks and face my fears.

It made me think.

As you know if you have read many of my previous posts, I find lots of analogies from the bike that apply to the bigger picture of life. This situation is no exception.

Allowing myself to ride this section of road opens options for me. It means less need for backtracking and more possibilities. Similarly, facing our fears in the rest of life creates possibilities, too.

Facing our fear, in a way that acknowledges and honors them allows us to see options that might be hidden from us otherwise. It literally opens our minds. When we don’t—or believe we can’t—face them, routes remain off limits. The doors remain closed. We can’t see down a certain path.

There are some things in my life off the bike that have me feeling fearful lately. The lesson from Saturday’s ride can serve me as I navigate these situations in the upcoming days, weeks and months. I can analyze the situation, like I did on the bike, and calculate my risks. I can also empower myself by providing opportunities for victory in lower-stakes decisions and circumstances. Doing this can embolden me to face the tougher, scarier things with more confidence and to see creative possibilities.

This doesn’t mean the fears go away. I’m not ready to ride past the dogs on their side of the road yet. I’ll need at least a few more passes on the opposite side with some degree of tailwind. Then, when the time is right, I may try it heading west.

The same is true in the rest of life. Navigating the changes that life brings us can be frightening, but it doesn’t have to paralyze us. Remembering this can help us to optimize our circumstances and live the best lives we can, while helping others do the same.

I’m no expert at this, but Saturday’s experience taught me some lessons that I can share:

  1. When something scares you, think about your options around it.
  2. How risky is facing it? Analyze the risks.
  3. What factors could mitigate the risks?
  4. Is the time right to face it?
  5. What does facing it look like?
  6. Listen to your gut. Even if you feel some fear, do your instincts tell you to take that turn toward what scares you and explore it openly?
  7. If so, go for it?
  8. Consider the possibilities that open for you once you are willing to openly acknowledge your fears.
  9. What is the next action you could take to move you forward in the direction of your dreams?
  10. Is there anything stopping you from taking it?
  11. If nothing is stopping you, and you have analyzed your risks, make that turn toward the thing that scares you.
  12. Once you have done it, what changed for you because you were willing to face your fears?
  13. Celebrate your courageous decision and decide how you will move forward next.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” –Jack Canfield

Several years ago, this quote really spoke to me. It still does, although I am not sure that everything I want is on the other side of fear. Or that I will find everything I want if I face my fears. What I do believe is that there will be more options, and I will see more possibilities, if I do face my fears, rather than remaining stuck in paralysis by them.

I am going to work to remember this and practice facing my fears more often. I know I will have several opportunities to do that coming up in the near future.

Have you had the experience of facing your fears and finding creative possibilities and unexpected alternatives on the other side of them? Let us know in the comments.

“Choose courage over comfort by vitally engaging with new opportunities to learn and grow, rather than passively resigning yourself to your circumstances.” –Susan David

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